Episode 4: Understanding Boundaries with Jessica Ulmer
In this episode of the Spark Something New podcast, Katie chats with Jessica Ulmer, founder of Crossing Paths Counseling, about the intricate world of setting and maintaining boundaries. Jessica, with years of experience in healthcare and counseling, highlights the importance of understanding boundaries, their misconceptions, and how they help individuals maintain a sense of self in relationships.
The discussion includes steps for identifying, communicating, and evaluating boundaries in personal and professional contexts and tackles common challenges faced when boundaries are violated. Practical examples, insightful advice, and recommended resources further illuminate the path to healthier relationships.
Episode Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Getting to Know Jessica Ulmer
02:42 Defining Boundaries
06:14 Misconceptions About Boundaries
10:22 Steps to Setting Healthy Boundaries
13:55 Challenges in Setting Boundaries
14:59 Attachment Theory and Boundaries
16:52 Practical Exercises for Setting Boundaries
24:06 Role-Playing Boundary Setting
26:54 Understanding Emotional Boundaries
27:27 Navigating Family Dynamics
29:02 Setting Boundaries in the Workplace
34:18 Handling Boundary Violations
36:32 Balancing Personal and Relational Needs
40:45 Emotional Regulation Tips
43:31 Practical Steps for Setting Boundaries
47:03 Resources for Learning About Boundaries
48:49 Modeling Boundaries for Children
50:20 Final Thoughts and Reflections
Episode Resources
Connect with Jessica Ulmer at Crossing Paths Counseling LLC
Download Setting Healthy Boundaries worksheet
Recommended Read: “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Recommended Read: “Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Children” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Recommended Listen: “Boundaries” podcast with Dr. Henry Cloud
Episode Guest
About Jessica ulmer lpc ncc
After 16 years in healthcare, Jessica transitioned from the medical field into the mental health field. Earning her Master's in Family Marriage Therapy from Messiah University in 2016, she obtained her Pennsylvania License of Professional Counseling in 2020 and became a Nationally Certified Counselor through the NBCC.
Jessica is currently pursuing her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is a member of the Central PA EFT Counselors Community.
In 2023 Jessica founded her private counseling practice, Crossing Paths Counseling, LLC in which she works to change individual's, couples and families' experiences within relational systems. Always working from a systemic view of an individual's presenting counseling concerns, Jessica has found the key element of interpersonal "boundaries" to be a change agent to improved wellness and personal growth.
Jessica enjoys running and training for long distance races, spending time with her family and two fur babies Bennie and Jet, and believes in the internal power that each individual possess to spark change in their own lives.